Friends with an Ex?

In my history of dating, eighty percent of the men I dated were in one way or another abusive. One was emotionally abusive, another was verbally abusive, another was border line physically abusive. I mean the list goes on. So when I came to the realization that this relationship was not for me I left. Walked away and the one recurring question I got from these dudes was, 'can we be friends?' 

I need to know what you guys think of this topic. Is it Ok to be friends with an Ex? I ask this question because some people can do it, and some like me just can not. Here is why I think it's fucking weird to be friends with an Ex. 

What in your one right mind makes you think that I want to remain friends with a MONSTER? The amount of mistreatment I received in all my twenties can last me an entire life time. Maybe my past relationships caused me some sort of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. It makes me so mad to know that these guys even have the balls to ask me that question after all they put me through. 

My most recent ex boyfriend, I broke up with him January 2018. Have not spoken to him since, has been leaving me stupid drunk voicemails over the last few months, recently the last one I received, late at night, a voicemail talking utter gibberish about how he thought our relationship was so amazing blah blah blah. I listened to the voice message, laughed my ass off, then deleted the message. He wants to be friends, keep in touch, go for coffees and I am here with this face like, bro you are out of your bloody mind if you think I want to remain friends with your sorry ass. 

This guy is an alcoholic, one of my MANY MANY reasons why I left him. He would talk to all his other exes before me while dating me, he would tell me he can be with them if he wants to be. Basically tear me down to make me feel like nothing, among-st other things he put me through. By the end of that relationship I was embarrassed to be seen in public with him because he was so obnoxious, not many people liked him and I could not take him anywhere without him starting a fight. Which was embarrassing because he is shorter than I am, and weighs way less than I do. So you can only imagine him starting a fight with a bigger stranger.  Imagine that :)

Another Ex prior to that one, also asked me to keep in touch on social media, and talk here and there, and I am just like HELL NO. That dude was blocked to the extent. Actually, after we broke up and I initially blocked him on all social media, he would continue to make himself new Instagram accounts so that he could stalk me. Fucking crazy. 

Honestly, I do not believe in continuing a friendship with your ex after your romantic relationship with them is over. I mean its weird. You slept with this person, and lets be real, its not like you're going to invite them over for dinner, or friend occasions like you would with your real friends. So why even bother remaining friends? When it's done it's done in my mind.

There is something about breaking up with someone that has to mean something, like if they did not work out in your life then, why would they work out in your life now? If you are mature, you know my reader, that people do not change. It is a very rare thing to encounter, someone changing their bad habits and ways and personality for the better. People don't just change and flip a switch, and for that I know, that if I chose to let you go then, that means I have seen you not making improvements and realized there is no hope for us in a future. Why would I waste my time?

I am correct in knowing he would not change, because he still leaves me stupid drunk voicemails from time to time, to which I delete. But what I don't understand, is why do men always want to remain friends with an Ex? Not all men, but the ones that are troubled I find always want to keep their broken relationships close by. 

Leave me a comment on your thoughts, I am curious to hear from you all :)

Stay Safe 

Ant

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