The Grinch who Stole Christmas

Greetings to my readers! Tis the season of cozy sweaters, hot chocolate, Christmas carols, gift giving, tree trimming, and most importantly family holiday season. Only thing is, COVID is preventing at least Ontario citizens from spending it with any family outside their own house hold. 

Am I the only one that just doesn't have the same Christmas spirit this year? Like I don't even want to put up our tree. I feel like there is no point to put up decorations when guests won't be in my house to enjoy them. I mean isn't that what decorations are for? 

Easter was a no go, back in March, and now a year practically has gone by and Christmas is just the same. It seems like there is nothing to look forward to any more. No get together's, no celebrations. Hell, I am even missing going into the office once a week. I can not believe I just said that, don't tell my boss LOL. 

I just feel like Christmas has been stolen from us, as with every other holiday this year. And depression is a real fucking thing people. What's the point of living if we don't have anything to look forward to? 

I know, I sound like the Grinch. But Hell can you tell me one good thing to look forward too because its looking pretty grim right now. My region is on the verge of a lock down, Toronto is already locked down and I am just sitting here thinking if I am going to live like this what would be the point of living? 

This is how dark my thoughts get when I am confined inside and cannot do the smallest basic day to day activities. And I am sure that a lot of you have this mentality too at times being locked in side. 

You are not alone my friends. Being confined inside during winter months has a huge tole on peoples Mental Health. I for one suffer from seasonal depression when it was just a normal world. And now that COVID world is here, my seasonal depression became depression all year round. 

I did start working out in July, and have continued to exercise daily to ensure I get my body moving, and hopefully clear my mind. But some times, we need a bit more than a work out. Sometimes I feel like eating that chocolate bar. Or eating the pasta. With my weight loss journey on the go, I always have to remind myself its OK to indulge in moderation and not every day. That is normal. 

I also try to keep my mind occupied to help me not get into these huge black wholes of negative space. Its hard, I know, so if you are having issues I hear ya. I try to keep busy by reading a book, watching new TV series or movies. Working from home helps be stay busy 8 hours a day five days a week. The key is to mentally stay busy. Distract yourself with projects, whether they are art projects, home improvement projects, health and fitness projects, stay busy.  

Sometimes, my anxiety is just so intense I like to read a book to distract my brain. Have you ever considered being crafty? Paint by numbers, or diamond dot paintings found on amazon can help distract your brain as it requires a bit of focus. Call your best friend, or a family member to check in and make sure there ok. Sometimes people just need to talk to another human being to feel better. 

Dealing with stress, and anxiety, and depression can be tough. Find the things that make you happy. Try new things that may bring your focus on to something else. Distraction is key. 

And if you ever get into those dark thoughts like I mentioned earlier, just remind yourself, this is temporary. It may seem that its not, but it is temporary. Good things are coming, and you are strong enough to get over this hurdle. 

As Buffy the Vampire Slayer would say at the end of Season 6, before she jumps into a portal to save the world, "The hardest thing in this life is to live in it, be brave, live". 

Peace, Love, Joy,

Ant



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