Posts

Where do I go from here?

  It has been 9 months since I have checked in with my gorgeous readers. A lot has happened in these 9 months, and no I did not have a baby. Although the timing of my check in seems like it.  I should have learned my lesson from 2019 new years eve , that hoping for a better year in 2021 was going to be a disaster.  It seems to me that life just keeps throwing me for a loop, and I keep yelling back, is that all you got?  9 months into this year of continued mayhem from the previous year, I sit here and think to myself, what the fuck am I going to do next? I feel stuck. My life feels like it is not moving forward, I am standing in an abyss of stillness. What is my next move? Do I wait for life to make the next move? Do I make the next move myself? So many questions, and I do not know how to answer them. I feel alone most of the time. Trying to manage my health, mental health, and in dealing with my parents, and watching the slow mental deterioration of both of them rea...

New Year, New Goals, Lets do it!

 Happy New Year to all my readers. I know with all the turmoil going on with Covid, I am sure that most of us did not spend the holidays how we all wanted to. But we are now into a new year, and hopefully by Summer we will begin to see more of our normal come back before COVID was even a thing.  One of my girlfriends messaged me asking me what my new years resolutions were going to be this year. I was sort of stumped. Every other year I always had an ongoing list started from early December, but this year, I was not all that eager to start a list, because I thought, what would be the point when all my resolutions required some sort of experience that I won't be able to fulfill with all our city, province, and country restrictions on every day life.  Then I thought, well I need to have some sort of list. I can not have goals. So I made the most basic new years resolution list one can think of. I will share with you guys my short list, and I am hoping this keeps me accounta...

The Grinch who Stole Christmas

Image
Greetings to my readers! Tis the season of cozy sweaters, hot chocolate, Christmas carols, gift giving, tree trimming, and most importantly family holiday season. Only thing is, COVID is preventing at least Ontario citizens from spending it with any family outside their own house hold.  Am I the only one that just doesn't have the same Christmas spirit this year? Like I don't even want to put up our tree. I feel like there is no point to put up decorations when guests won't be in my house to enjoy them. I mean isn't that what decorations are for?  Easter was a no go, back in March, and now a year practically has gone by and Christmas is just the same. It seems like there is nothing to look forward to any more. No get together's, no celebrations. Hell, I am even missing going into the office once a week. I can not believe I just said that, don't tell my boss LOL.  I just feel like Christmas has been stolen from us, as with every other holiday this year. And depre...

My Big Question

Image
 A lot of you don’t know that although I was born into a protective Italian family, my siblings are nearly double my age. My mom had me later in life at 35 years old, whereas she had my brothers at 17 and 19 years old. Mom always wanted a girl and after having her second son at 19 years old (her first son she had at 17), she kept trying for me, but she did not get pregnant again with me until she was 35. Huge gap, and what are the odds after all this time. Makes me really think that God wanted me here for a reason, but what I do not know yet. Since I was little, I never felt a source of fitting into my family. I was always the youngest by far and couldn’t do much with my older brothers since they were in a different age range than me. I mean they could be my bloody fathers, with a 19 year age difference to me. My dads side of the family I was the youngest cousin, everyone else was around my brothers age, so I had no one really on his side to play with whenever there we...

Book Review: Vampire Most Wanted by Linsay Sands

Image
I had high hopes for this novel. Anything Vampire strikes my interest because of my love of mystical and magical creators. Now, I will admit this novel stems from a large book series known as the Argeneau Series from this author, so I did not read this series from the very beginning. However, I was not impressed with the ending of this book. First off, the beginning did drag on a bit, and when it was time to get into the sexy parts of the novel, the author was not as graphic as I hoped. Lets be real, people reading this book arent any younger than 18 years old. So why PG-13 the good parts? Especially when you have on the cover a half naked man feeling up a pretty woman. Thought it would have been a little more steamy that what it actually turned out to be. The story line was interesting, Basha the main character is on the run from her family because she thinks that they are hunting her to kill her, but what she doesn’t know is that Basha was being brain washed to believe that. The a...

Halloween Mayham

Image
Ever since I was a little girl, I always got excited for Halloween season. Mainly because I loved to dress up in costumes and pretend I was someone other than myself. Make no mistake, I didn't need Halloween to do that, because as a kid I would dress up and play pretend A lot. For me aside from the candies I would collect, something fascinated me around the topic of spooky characters. Ghosts, Witches, Vampires.  My top favorite Halloween movies as a kid and still are: Addams Family, Halloween Town, Hocus Pocus, and Double Double Toil & Trouble (with the Olsen twins). What comes in close seconds were The Witches of Eastwick, Death Becomes Her, Beetlejuice, and Nightmare on Elm Street (love Freddy Krueger) . I still can't believe to this day my mom would allow me to watch Witches of Eastwick and Death Becomes Her and Freddy as a young 8 year old. But I did grown up with two much older brothers and by that time, I had already seen the God Father, Scarface, and Rocky. So these ...

The Sound of Music

Image
 When was the first time you ever heard a tune play? For me my mother used to play music throughout her pregnancy with me. Coming out of the womb I knew off by heart all the oldies tunes. My mom is the type of stay at home mom and wife who always had the radio on in the kitchen growing up. When I was little, she would always be singing, and she still does, as shes baking something in that kitchen. Which let me tell you does not help my diet I am on currently with my liver issues. But I still manage to resist, for the sake of my liver of course. I grew up with much older parents. My brothers are twenty years older than me. When I was just a little girl they were dating. So I spent a lot of time alone by myself, playing on my own. I had an amazing imagination. But the one thing that I spent hours doing was listening to music in my room, and playing "Concert", which basically entailed me to dress in a sexy (or what I thought was sexy at 10 years old, relax it was just a t shirt ...